Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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