Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
