I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I forget how to act sober
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
