I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
