At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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