did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
