Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have post one night stand depression
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
