I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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