I love black thongs
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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