im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
