My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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