the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
