just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
