she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she peed on how many people?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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