He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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