Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
