I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
