10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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