Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
