dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You made out with two different species that night
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
