just come out here and I will go home with you...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
