he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Never joke about your clitoris.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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