I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
