What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
