I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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