i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
