Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
