i love accidental penises.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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