i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Are we still banned from the library?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
