whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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