i would punch a child for taco bell
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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