im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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