Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
