its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
