When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
