For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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