So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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