Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
