i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
