oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
