We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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