Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Oh god it's open bar.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
