Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
