a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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