It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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