You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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