I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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