Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
