I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I love having hate sex.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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