So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
