When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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