shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
